Just Let Me Be, Depressed

The fact struck me just now even though it lingers over for almost a day. I just couldn't contain my depression, I had to blog this before cheat sheet writing for 197 exam tomorrow.

I failed ES 13 3rd long exam.

My 3rd failed long exam for college. But the first serious. First was my Math 54 power series exam of R. Bautista where everybody failed and second was my ChE 132 2nd exam where the highest score was around 40%.

It's quite a consolation that barely anyone passed and that my score, flat 50, still fared better than the mean. But it's plain stupid to be consoled by that. It's stupid to blend yourself with the popular when you know it's wrong. It's stupid to be contented with something when you know you can do better. It's stupid to compromise your aims and settle for the less.

I failed. My first failed ES exam.

I won't get into bickering again that my wrong solutions are out of carelessness again even though they're true. Plug values to the calculator and boom, a different answer. I told myself way back ES 12 that carelessness is a sin, not an honest mistake.

It is likely that every reader's eyebrows are raised by now. I don't care. Everything in life is relative. If mediocrity pleases you, I don't care. Everyone knows that failing something you know you're good at is always heartbreaking.

I could do with a hug. This day has been very depressing and gets stressful by every hour. (Kate's laptop, CE Entrep Fair, 197 exam, I don't know what's next)

(Thanks Val!)