My Valentine Post

I went to SM and was appalled by the number of couples dating. I mean, I was dissapointed by Filipinos lacking creativity. Why spend the day meant to be special in a place so shallow, unromantic and dull like SM? Why not go somewhere else - a place serene and exclusive, a place where feelings are emphasized or if not, somewhere really exciting and new. Fine, ano nga bang paki ko.

Although peering at the other side: if all couples will be creative enough, no one will be (like a line from The Incredibles). Every "good" idea will be cliche and corny. Ang gulo. Parang di ko rin sinabi kung anong maganda.

Anyway, I came back home, surprised by the food and asked,
"Bakit may spaghetti? Ano okasyon?"
Mama replied in a soft voice with a smile, "Anniversary."

For 17 years, I never knew when. My parents aren't open about their feelings. They never hug, kiss, put heads on shoulders, embrace, hold hands or any other form of PDA couples would normally do. I once asked about how they met, court and all that but Mama was reluctant about it, she pretended to be busy and preoccupied. I never asked again, knowing that I, too, feel the same awkwardness. I think these behaviors by my parent made me so introvert. Yeah, you may disagree but ponder about it: I'm never quite comfortable in sharing secrets. Everyone - siblings, parents, cousins - has never been affectionate to each other. We seldom get together for a reunion or a family pic. We never eat together or maybe once or twice. We see each other as moving statues or something like that yet we feel the comfort. We need each other. We laugh, we joke but we're like no more than just acquainted. We're happy (or most of the time) being with each other yet we're never concerned about the flesh, about what's inside. Never mushy. All because of those two people.

They're like forced into a fixed marriage even though they want and love each other. They never call each other in terms of endearment like "honey" or worse, "babe". Papa calls Mama "Mang" and Mama, if she can't get her husband's attention without using us like "Tawagin mo nga si Papa mo", I don't know how. She just goes on with what she needs to say. We're like living a royal family's life except for the elaborate setting, the strict rules and boring insights. And I'm good with it. I can sleep well with it. It's just surprising that after 17 years, I felt like they are, indeed, a couple. For the first time I know, they celebrated their anniversary and with a mere spaghetti. Emphasize that: just a spaghetti. And now, the family has a reason to celebrate Valentine's Day. (albeit the awkwardness that would surely result.)

Isn't that also surprising that my mood while writing this post is so blank and bland?