First 30

Grabe, `pag wala ka talagang magawa oh. I find joy in being extremely analytical and obsessive-compulsive. Dahil malungkot ang January 1 (as it was always, January 1 is the saddest day of the year), inanalyze ko kung bakit. Ayan, like a formal report, I discuss a feasible reason. Freaky nga lang, kasi gumamit ako ng words na madalas kong maencounter sa ginagawa kong formal report. Hahahaha. And I mean it.

December 31 never fails to drive us into rising emotion. Or maybe we require ourselves to be aboard the truck since it's hard to be lonely when everyone's jumping for joy. We celebrate the coming of the New Year even though we do it exactly every year, never thought it's already cliche. And then, excitement shots exponentially until midnight - on which, apparently, acquired happiness is almost constant. We don't notice the unusual-ness of the euphoria (our dog did; it kept on barking at us that midnight) and the moment goes on for the first 30 minutes of the year.

And after the first 30 minutes, except in extreme conditions, we (or maybe, just I) feel sudden decrease in internal happiness. Everything turns sad. The last of fireworks had already been lit and the streets become deafening in silence. After their very effervescent New Year special, TV channels sign off. People feel the urge to sleep and if you can't sleep, you bear the sad welcoming of the first sunrise. The whole of January 1 will be worse, still. The streets are emptier than they used to be (since most are still asleep). The noise you heard last night will be very much missed. The whole day is so dragging you'll wish you were at the mall or beach. Or maybe it just applies to people who, like me, remain at home on January 1.

It makes sense tough. Emotion appears to be a relative concept. It is always hard to be happier when you're already happy and it should always be a natural tendency to be sad. It's hard to cry when we want to because after being sad, it is hard to be sadder. Compare with the pulling of a spring and heating of a pan. Emotion, thought of as something that varies with environment, is a concept that depends on it's initial state or rather, as a function of a preceding state. Yet unlike the geometric series, it can't be derived from something like t = 0. And emotion does not achieve equilibrium even though it continually tries to do so. This can be attributed to the varying external forces which are, by themselves, uncontrollable by us. (Example, you can't control your girlfriend's mood on when to drop you.)

And by here, the popular quote "There's always a rainbow after the rain" has been proved, not literally but upon the foundations of what it means. Because after being extremely down, happiness will eventually spontaneously be absorbed by your body.

Hindi umuulan tuwing midnight ng transition from December 31 to January 1. 17 years na akong nagnenew year pero so far, di pa ako nakakaexperience ng wet New Year. And I have a tingling reason in mind. Gusto niyong marinig? Hehehehe. Kailangan ko pa ng research.

== Halos bawat isa ay binati ko nung New Year. I used several exclamation marks and tried to sound happy albeit the sadness. At aba, it pays to be expressive of what you feel about others. Ang sarap ng feeling lalo na kung naappreciate nila yung individual greeting mo. Eeek. Tsaka mas maraming nagrereply. Lalo na yung mga di talaga nagrereply eh napapareply. I felt special, very much special.