The Gym Obsession

It started as a personal battle for self-esteem. I grew tired of looking at the mirror and pity those spindly arms or the thick guitar strings called ribs. I tend to complain how XS is always not so XS and why 28 is the smallest size. I try to ignore comments on how I look high school-ish but deep inside I get frustrated. I was always the thin guy.

I know that once I earned my own money, it would be one of the first things to solve.

I regained proper diet after getting hired and shelved all the board exam/unemployment woes that included me eating only twice a day (I slept late and woke up late, missed breakfast almost everyday). From a bony 110 pounder, I jumped to 118 after the first few months at work. Eating is really the best way the get fat - especially when the only way to prevent sleeping at work is to munch at something.

But 118 is still thin.

So when Gold's had a booth in Rustan's at Katipunan and told me that they had this promo for new members of the then soon-to-be-built Gold's Katipunan, I know I should sign up. The whole April pay went there.

There, after around 9 months and more than 50k of membership fees, trainor fees, supplements, gym clothes, expensive high-protein diet, I am now 142 lbs. It's quite much, I mean how much money I lost. I couldn't imagine my mother knowing this figure but she knows I spend a lot. But hell, some people spend six digits in their trips to Vicky Belo. And I know it's perfectly worth it.

The first months at Gold's were generally about the obsession to become beautiful. Everything that could get large should get large. I immersed myself in bodybuilding books, sites on exercises, studied the whey protein, creatine, multivatamin, arginine, everything. I can enumerate those muscles and the complementing exercise to develop each. I hired a trainer and paid excessively when I got frustrated about my initial gains on working out on my own. I developed a schedule that I strictly followed. I made records of the weights I used each week. I calculated the amount of protein my body needs each day and plan everything I need to eat to ensure I meet the requirement.

Being fit is a change in lifestyle - an expensive lifestyle but definitely satisfying. It's about setting your goals and meeting them. It's about discipline and guilt-free living. It's about looking at every Nutrition Facts and knowing you are healthy. It's about getting better endurance for physical tasks, a clearer mind when you need it and shooing stress away easily during difficult times.

It's not without side effects though. I had to turn down night outs with college friends and office mates in favor of the gym. I had to minimize alcohol consumption. I had to let go soda and junk foods. I had to cut spending on everything else to save up for food (healthy meals are the most expensive!) and supplements.

Sadly, I haven't reached that point where I could say I am satisfied and I don't believe I would ever reach that. Nonetheless, the obsession to become beautiful isn't much of an obsession now. Not that I'm not addicted anymore. I'd say it evolved to an obsession to become stronger - a never-ending battle to lift heavier and pushing my physical strengths to the limits every session and eagerly watching out for the muscle pains the morning after (yes, I love them pains).

I can live like this my whole life.