Close to You (Title Unrelated)

The worst holidays.

I have loads of really fuck up reasons why I hate this break.

No internet, most days I'm all alone at home, most days I don't have money even to buy my lunch. I didn't get mingling with some of the people I miss or I didn't even bother make the first contact. My family is unenthusiastic; they even cared for other people, their other friends. I don't get excited for Christmas or New Year.

Everything is just plain boring. I sleep early and wake up late. And in the afternoon I will still sleep. Sometime when my head aches too much of sleeping, I'd go to the rooftop and stare somewhere far. Not thinking, just blank, pouring out the excesses of sleep I just had.

At night, I'd go online on a net cafe to check my mail and tweak everything FP-related (my project in CE) or wait for someone to go online. That someone who won't go online.

The most exciting is pretty imaginary. In my dreams my heart get the fastest beating.