I Now Don't Know How To Think For A Title

1. I really hate it when I look stupid because of my poor vocal expression of what my ideas are. I always stumble with what should be the right words to blurt out so as to make my stand clear enough. This is why I love writing: I can choose what words to use to express myself vividly and make use of the longest possible time to think - not the one in recitations when I have to think in a rush. English 11 recitations always give me a handful of moment stress.

2. The educated and the wise. When you teach, you make someone educated. That is, spoonfeed him of the information he needs (you can call it knowledge, right?). On the other hand, when you're wise or logical, you have this magic wand which can be used to reason out things, validate what you have learned and not just stack it up your head.

Many enroll for schools so that they could become educated only. That could be the reason why they hate school days. Why isn't it a universal characteristic of the human brain to be enthusiastic with reasoning out? Not just leave it with the information it needs but crawl it if it is reasonable. I hate people when they act that way: accepting what the professor says and applying the predetermined formulas without knowing where they came from. Why did God made only selected number of people to be logical? Or is it the society's fault that they grew up that way? Why couldn't God implant that exciting feeling so all of us are wise? Wouldn't it be harmonious?

Why live like an animal? Living for living's sake.

This is what I learn fom UP: ponder on the most absurd of things.

3. I think I'm losing emotion. I always reason out things and I see that I lose the excitement in the core. Last night, I almost cried at realizing my depreciating ability to feel. As if I live in a universe with those texty symbols and I yearn to grasp everything there - like a monkey who has just first arrived in a thing called forest. One of the symptoms is my growing emotional distance from my family. Not that we were close then but the happy moments are going going gone for my part in activities (like playing cards). And my decreasing ability to comprehend emotional people. This is really depressing.

4. When a girl who sits in a row ahead of you and looks back in your direction (or looking at your milieu as that was what is happening), is something like intimacy going on?