Now: Try Pessimism

SUPER DEPRESSED. Stop reading if you have had allergy attacks after contact with grade-conscious people. I warn you: this can kill.

When I saw the tabulated grades posted outside my math prof's cubicle, I was sort of excited to see what combination of numbers would judge the things I have learned for the whole math. I was expecting a 1.25 or 1.5 since I found the finals quite amusing and easy and that my pre-finals standing soared up to 1.5. I never thought too much optimism could kill. I'm down to 1.75.

And another! I've just flipped the pages of CRS to view if others have done their grades submission. Yeah, there was still the perturbing 2.25 in Chem and the miraculous 2.25 in PE. But there's one more.. A 1.75 in Physics. AACCKK. Disappointment rushed into me that I blurted out a loud p.tang ina to wake my little sister. Wooot. GC! HAHA. But no.. I invested too much faith in Physics to heave me up to a CS. That was the only f.cking thing that could help write a Leo Angelo Padasas in a yellow paper on the bulletin board. My.. The finals was the easiest! I mean, yeah? Like Math, my physics standing soared to 1.25 - 1.5 due to departmental exams. Then.. umm. Did I do really bad in finals to add a 0.25 to my score? This is all optimism's fault. Resolution: try pessimism, try to practice bidding CS a goodbye.

I doubt a higher than 2.0 in the forking Physics 71.1. Yeah. And I'm also willing to face a three there. I always do bad in labs. I lost about 40 points in Chem17 due to late lab reports. Hehe.. Quesci's fault (yeah.. blaming others huh?). I could have made out a 2.0 there if not for lab. lab. lab. That's why I hate labs. So stressing. So demanding. I hate labs and all homonyms that come with it. lab.

Ashley called me up yesterday if I'll go for a Math54 in summer. Nope. I won't. After that, she asked for my standing in Chem (as always, she never lost the star section attitude) and as always again, compare compare compare with other ChE majors. She bagged a 1.75 there and Kenneth a 1.5. WOO! These times, I could boast that they're my batchmates. Ashley and Kenneth also sparkle now with shining 1.0's for physics. Isn't it obvious that I'm sounding bitter here?

The weakest link. There are only three of us who are brave and not that money-hungry (read: BA and BE majors. joke.) to pursue the ChE path. And I am the one lagging behind. Every adjectives are relative to something. Sure enough that many will have their eyebrows raised after reading this but couldn't you feel me? I really should try pessimism now. Get used to it.

Wonder how will Bargo react if Abueg told her about my grade. I wasted the 1.0 she gave me.

This post turned out to be longer than usual.

I hate the whole second sem. Die from my memory. From the very start that you've squeezed my eyes for tears since you deprived me of 3 major subjects until the last day for registration (I and CRS are friends now. hihi..) to the last days when you absorbed almost all of my sleeping hours due to Petronas-high pile of homeworks. When I valued my learning most (in Quesci, I managed to slip through subjects without passing projects), I received the most infuriating judgements.

When I goal for what I want, I sometimes tend to settle for second best. All the same, I always get rejected. When will I be a perefect uno in a Happiness 101?

Huy Leo! Ikaw ba yan? Di na kita kilala. Di na kita mahawakan tulad ng dati. Di naman ganyan ang tingin mo sa akin dati ah. Kasi dati, tuwang tuwa pa ako na titignan kita sa salamin.